Welcome to Mad About It Monday
…because passive aggressive Facebooking was so yesterday…
It’s been a while since my last Mad About It Monday post in this series and I thought I’d bring it back with something that’s been on my mind for a long, long time.
I love being a mom. I love the time that I get to spend with my two year old, snuggled on the couch, reading stories together. But good Lord Almighty there are a lot of books out there and some them are just downright (as Mr. T would say,) “Absoludicrous”.
You might remember my expose on a guide for stalkers cleverly disguised as a classic children’s book or my thoughts on the worst parenting example ever. Today, I want to dedicate this post to a book that’s been grinding my gears form almost two years.
The Going to Bed Book
Filled with nonsensical nonsense, “The Going to Bed Book” has been a popular bedtime story for the last 31 years. Before it makes its way into your book basket, I must air my grievances with this so-called children’s classic.
Now, you might think that I’m going to talk about what a bad idea it is to exercise right after bed. About how any activity that creates adrenaline and increases one’s heart-rate is not going to be conducive to a restful night’s sleep. Furthermore, it is pretty nasty that they are exercising after they’ve taken a bath.
But, I’m not going to talk about that.
You might also think that I’m going to talk about how illogical it is for a lion, elephant, and moose, among others to share the same bathtub in an effective or safe manner. You may suspect that I’ll mention that, based upon the Archimedes’ principle of water displacement, the tub would have to exponentially larger than depicted in order to support the level of bouyant force exerted by the combined weight of all of those wild animals.
However, I’m not going to talk about that either.
What I want to talk about is this:
That bunny might be getting ready for bed, but you can tell he’s pretty sure that he’s going to become the lion’s breakfast.
AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE. Somebody had to have purchased all of these custom-fitted pajamas and specialized exercise equipment, but they seem to have forgotten that these are wild animals and no amount of messed up rhyming bedtime routine is going to deny the inherent laws of nature.
As the parent of a toddler, I am in no hurry to explain the entirely justifiable fear within that bunny’s eyes.
Thanks for trying to steal my child’s innocence, Sandra Boynton.