Mad About It Monday: How To Ruin A Relationship In One Simple Step

Mad About It Monday- Copyright It's An Ordinary Blog

Mad About It Monday

…because passive aggressive Facebook posts were so yesterday

Happy Monday, Everyone! Lately, I’ve been posting my M.A.M mini-rants on Facebook but something happened to me recently that warrants a blog post. Let’s just say that a simple Facebook post just can’t contain all of the rage. I’d also like to get your thoughts on the situation. After you’re done reading, leave me a comment and answer this: What would you do if you were in my position?!

Neighborhood

When we were building our house five years ago, I was excited about the prospect of having the kind of neighborhood where there’s a real sense of community…you know, the kind of place that you’re excited to raise a family in. I don’t know if times have just changed or if it’s the neighborhood we moved into but we only know a handful of our neighbors and, although we really like them and are on friendly terms, we don’t know them all that well. One of our neighbors has a child that’s a few years older than my three year old daughter. We like this kid and are friendly with his parents and occasionally we’ll invite them over for a get together or spend a few minutes chatting while we’re all outside. Over the course of the last few months, the parents have asked me to babysit their child several times. It’s certainly not a problem at all. We enjoy having him over and are more than happy to help on occasion, when they need a favor and that’s exactly what I thought I was agreeing to when I received a text message last week asking me if I would mind watching the child for a little while on Saturday. Here’s what the message said:

“Hey, would you mind watching Kiddo on Saturday? I have to work in the morning and wanted to take SoAndSo out for his birthday dinner after work if he’s up for it.”

Now I assumed, as any rational human being would, that I would be watching Kiddo on Saturday evening, so his mom and dad could enjoy a night out. Absolutely no big deal. I replied and mentioned that, even though we were planning to go out to dinner, Kiddo was more than welcome to come with us if he wanted to. “It’s up to you guys,” said the mom. “Kiddo is always welcome to tag along,” I replied. “Cool,” I thought,  “It’s settled. We’ll take Kiddo out to dinner and it will be fun.” Apparently, I was wrong. The next morning, I got this text message:

“I have to work at 10:30 so I leave around 10:00…I can bring Kiddo over then and how much would you like for the day? Either his dad or I should pick him up around 7ish”

wait-what

Wait, what?! Now something that was supposed to be an evening favor has turned into an all day ordeal but since I’d already agreed to her vague request for us to watch her child and since this child is old enough to come with us wherever we go, I decided not to worry about the change in our day. I didn’t reply to her comment about payment because, honestly, I’m a really bad negotiator when it comes to people that I know and I thought that she would ask me in person what would be fair. Fast forward to Saturday…

Kiddo came over around 10:00 in the morning. We played a few games and ran some errands before coming home for a pizza party lunch followed by blanket forts, a movie and snacks, hide & go seek, sidewalk chalk, and an assortment of other activities with the kids. Although it was long, it was a pretty good day. I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to entertaining a seven year old child but I managed and, by the time 7:00 rolled around, I was a little exhausted and ready to head out to our already delayed dinner plans. Kiddo’s mom picked him up at 7:45, seemed kind of rushed, and made absolutely no mention of paying us for watching her child all day. I was a little floored. I certainly don’t mind doing anyone a favor but ten hours of my time is well beyond a good neighborly favor. So I sent her this text message:

“…I realized I never responded about how much money would be okay for the day. Anywhere between $5 and $10 an hour would be fine. Normally I would say don’t worry about it but since it was all day, I think that’s fair.”

She responded asking for an exact dollar amount, I replied with “$50 would be fine” (which comes out to be about $5 an hour, an amount I think is totally reasonable for all day child care including meals, snacks, and activities) and she said she’d bring it by tomorrow. Well, guess what?! Tomorrow came and went and the next day came and went, too and I still haven’t heard from them and they haven’t come by.

Annoyed

It’s not the money that matters to me, it’s the principle of the matter. When you say that you’re going to do something: DO IT!

I don’t know if it’s the fact that I felt tricked into agreeing to something that ended up being a much larger commitment than I anticipated or the fact that she offered to compensate me for my time but didn’t or some combination of the two but I am outraged slightly appalled. I mean, who does that?! I can’t even imagine taking advantage of someone like that. I just can’t.

I would love to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they forgot or that they were just busy but, the truth is, I know better. Kiddo has come over several times over the last few months and I’ve always declined an offer for payment because it’s only ever been for an hour or two but this time it was my entire day and that’s different. I can’t help but feel the only reason they asked me to watch him in the first place is because they didn’t want to have to pay for a sitter to watch their child. How frustrating.

Fail

Needless to say, I don’t think I’ll be doing them any more favors any time soon.

What would you have done in my situation?! Have you ever dealt with something like that? If so, I’d love to know how you handled it.

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19 thoughts on “Mad About It Monday: How To Ruin A Relationship In One Simple Step

  1. Angel says:

    Ah, this was the funniest blog I’ve ever read, I love your humour and your pictures! lol What would I have done……I probably would have done the same as you and resolved in the end that I’m never watching kiddo again. So unreal that people would take advantage of you like that! Karma. I’d wish for karma lol Good luck the next time you have to deal with her, I hope you finally get paid!

  2. Kate K says:

    I feel for you. Before we moved out of state I had a “friend” who was always calling to see if her daughter could play with my girls and then she would drop her off all. day. long. But it never seemed like it was a “good time” for one of my daughters to go to her house to play. I just let it go and got better about saying no, but when I found out we were moving out of state I was pretty happy that I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

  3. Sarah says:

    RAGE. I would be so mad. FIRST, when she said “I am bringing the kid at 10am” That would have been given a HUGE nope. I would say something like “Hey! What time is a good time for me to run over to pick up the $50?” or something like that. (Heck, I probably wouldn’t because I am chicken,but I will tell others to do that apparently)

  4. Mom 2 54321 says:

    I love your writing style!! LOVE IT-HILARIOUS! But sheesh that neighbor sure is flaky and well she used you-and that sucks because your children probably enjoyed playing together and now since she does not know how to be an adult about the situation, she instigated, she has ruined that for the kids-just horrible.

    • Holli Ann says:

      Thanks for the compliment on my blog! 🙂 My daughter does really like this kid and the thing is I don’t mind if they play together in the future, I just don’t want to be in a position where I’m leaving the door open for someone to take advantage of my time and generosity again.

  5. Jenn says:

    Stand up for yourself! Send her a text ” Hi. I know things have been busy with the holiday weekend, but I’d like to stop by tonight to pick up payment for my babysitting services. When would be a good time?”

  6. Beth says:

    If she offered to pay you and then didn’t, that’s pretty sneaky. I don’t know where you live, but in my area, most babysitters charge $15+/hour, so what you charged was MORE than fair. Plus, I feel like the amount covers your own personal costs, like feeding her child for the day and such. I’m sorry she behaved that way, but you’re right. I wouldn’t help them out again if they’re going to be sneaky.

  7. Danielle Stewart says:

    Oh yeah that would have been the end of that. I had a friend when I was in the military that would dump her kid at my house every other night so that she could meet people online. I finally just stopped answering the phone. I don’t like being taken advantage of and I also believe you should keep your butt at home with your kids or find a regular sitter that you pay to watch them if your going to be out all day long.

    • Holli Ann says:

      I’m actually really glad that’s what you read from her original text because I wondered if maybe I took it the wrong way. In my post, I copied the texts word for word so when anyone gave feedback it would be based off of what actually happened.

    • Holli Ann says:

      Nope! *Sigh* If they had just SAID something about it instead of just ignoring the situation entirely, I wouldn’t be so annoyed at the situation. It’s not even the money that matters to me, it’s the whole notion of saying that you’re going to do something and then not following through. So tacky!

  8. April says:

    When my husband was in the military I had a person who I had only met once ask my neighbor if I would babysit because I was a stay at home Mom. My neighbor assumed that this lady had already talked to me. She dropped the kids off at my neighbor’s house that morning and went out of town. My neighbor brought the children to me when it was time for her to go to work. I had no clue but what could I do? She was gone a week. I had an infant and a one year old. She left me with an infant (the same age as mine, maybe a month old) and a 3 yr. old who was potty training. She never called to check on them or anything. I finally had to call and threaten to report them to family and children services to get her to come get them. It was awful. She tried to start drama over it and bad mouth me because of it. I can’t imagine leaving my baby with someone I had met once and then not calling to check on them. Since then I have not offered to watch other people’s kids. It is tricky.

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